No More Pacifiers!

R.I.P. Playtex Ortho Pro Pacifier Family

The Playtex Ortho Pro Pacifier Family, Two Years, 7 months and 19 days old, mysteriously disappeared around naptime on December 17, 2009.

The sudden vanishing of the Playtex Ortho Pro Pacifier Family shocked and greatly disturbed those who loved them dearly. It has been whispered amongst many of the toddlers at our recent playdates that Swiper (the sly fox from Dora the Explorer) is the culprit, but that remains to be proven. While those the pacifier family served do not understand how or why anyone could do this, they are determined to make it through this difficult period and emerge stronger for what they have endured.

During their long life (in terms of pacifier use, of course), the Playtex Ortho Pro Pacifier Family received many honors and accolades. These honors include Best Nighttime Shusher 2007, Best Teething Device 2008, and Best Substitute for Baby Crack and Mommy Valium 2008 & 2009.

These dear pacifiers will be greatly missed. They are survived by their dedicated users Ella and Aidan, employers Mommy and Daddy, and many other relatives and babysitters that so enjoyed their company.

Ella and Aidan are on high alert these days and are clearly now concerned for the safety of their diapers. Rumor has it that once the pacifiers disappear, the diapers are sure to follow suit – that Swiper is one sneaky fox!

Condolences should be sent to Ella and Aidan. In lieu of flowers, please make a pacifier or diaper donation to your local NICU.