Flashback Friday

In the wake of the 10th anniversary of September 11, I am still haunted by images and thoughts of the events from that fateful day. Wives left without husbands. Parents losing children. Children left without fathers or mothers.  No child should ever be left without a mother or father.

This week I had quite a few times when I felt overwhelmed by my mothering duties.  I began worrying about kindergarten for next year.  I felt inadequate after I grew frustrated in the preschool frenzy/carpool/dinner prep.  I fret for Lauren as she is dragged back and forth to carpool twice a day, typically in the middle of a nice nap or right when she needs to be fed.

Am I doing enough, being the mother I want to be?  Can I embrace change in a healthy way, or will I always live with the sadness of letting my children go little by little?  Do I have what it takes to make good decisions, and help my children make them as well?

And then I am reminded that this is life.  Every day is precious whether it is spent with tissues, with preoccupation, with frustration, or with sadness.  

I get to experience it all.

I get to figure it out, day by day, hour by hour.  

I get to see my children grow and gain their independence, I get to do 100 things at once while someone calls "Mom, mom, mom" over and over again and my brain feels jumbled.  I get to make endless lists, I get to drive carpool, I get to work through hard days juggling the needs of all three kids with a husband who is gone for days/nights at a time. 

What would so many trade for just one more day whether it was hard or easy, happy or sad?

So this is what I am grateful for this week - every day I get to spend on earth witnessing and experiencing the little moments that make life so very precious.