You Might Be a Parent of Multiples If....

• You can explain, in detail, the difference between monozygotic and dizygotic even though you haven’t taken a biology class since high school.

• You have fantastic biceps from carrying around one infant carrier in each arm!

• Your good friend comes to stay with you overnight to care for the babies, and never offers assistance again because “two babies at once are too hard!”

• You understand that there really can be differently gendered identical twins, but it’s so complicated and unlikely that you lie to all and sundry and say it’s impossible.

• You smile and nod when a stranger is trying to convince you that your children are identical, even though they have different eye colors, facial structures and one is three inches taller than the other.

• You ever watched your fundal height hit 50cm… or 57cm.

• You ever gained (or lost) 90 lbs in a matter of weeks.

• You refer to singleton pregnancies as “singleton pregnancies.”

• You’ve ever asked someone pregnant with a singleton when she’s due, thinking she’s got at least another 2 months, she says she’s due the next week and you think “gosh, she’s barely showing.”

• You’ve heard “double trouble” and “you must have your hands full” more times than you can count.

• Your standard answer of “I don’t know what it is like to have one” can be spouted off to a variety of comments you get about having twins, without too much of a thought.

• It takes you two hours to go to shop for just milk and bread - getting the stroller & babies in/out /in and out of the car and then dealing all the people that stop you to ask “are they twins?” and tell you how adorable they are after saying “double trouble !” as well as all the people who tell you what they know about twins.

• To avoid all of the comments and stares, you’ve patented the “just keep walking and don’t make eye contact” move when shopping with your multiples.

• You’ve become good at picking things up with your toes.

• You can nurse two babies, talk on the phone, and eat your dinner simultaneously.

• You get so excited when you see a double stroller — thinking maybe just maybe there is another twin mom you can talk to.

• You keep up with current events in the news by catching only the headlines (and infer the rest of the story) in the few precious moments after the kids are down for a nap, you’ve picked up some toys (you know, so you don’t trip and break your neck), eaten leftovers (usually the kids’) for lunch…all before one of the two decide that 45 minutes is the perfect length for a nap.

• You gravitate towards other moms of multiples because you know that they just get it.

• A serious break to you is parenting one baby.

• You have actually considered punching a pregnant lady for saying having twins was “doing it the easy way”.

• You try to be kind when mothers of one talk about how stressful it is, while inside you’re wondering how on earth one baby can be stressful at all.

• You have no sympathy for the 5 month pregnant moms that use the “stork parking” when they aren’t even wearing maternity clothes yet.

• When overwhelmed you comfort yourself with the thought, well, there is someone is even more overworked than me because they have triplets…quads…etc…

• You have twins, then have a singleton, and yes, you were right about how easy just one baby at a time is, but no one believes you except another mother of multiples!

• You nod and smile knowingly, teeth clenched tightly, as your friend empathizes with you because she “had kids really close together, so that must be *just like* having twins.”

• You think that single strollers, even the Mountain Buggy SUV three-wheeler types, look svelte and petite

• You trade in your fancy sports car for a more practical one and you get excited about the minivan because the boot has SO MUCH SPACE!

• You have spit up stains on both shoulders and you don’t care, because laundry?

• you have ever carried a baby on your front, a baby on your back, and loaded groceries into your vehicle without assistance.

• You select shopping markets based on how many kids you can get into a cart.

• You have a hard time saying “baby.” It’s always “babies” even if you are only talking about one.

• You ask all your new parent friends how their “babies” are, even though they only have one - because your reference is always more than one.

• You think about toys, not according to purchase price, but damage when tossed, hurled, or chucked at a sibling’s head (or other body part).

• You have two (or more) of the same clothing/accessory in all colors available.

• You can name the shops which give discounts for multiples and even know their website address by heart.

• You now understand how kids born on Christmas must feel when your kids get one normal sized gift to share on their birthday.

• You’ve ever pondered whether you should give a gift from each child or if you should give a gift from both children.

• You get frustrated that not everything comes in twos already (or threes, or fours), especially when you’re in a hurry.

• You watch your twins/trips/quads play together and think how boring it must be just having one.

• You’ve told your birth story and relayed all the stats on your kids at least 5 times per outing.

• You hear on a daily basis, “what did it feel like to have two inside of you?”

• You have people ask you if you can tell them apart

• You refer to all pregnant people’s bellies as “them”, even if they are having one.

• You have ever referred to your pregnant self as “the three of us”.

• You’ve gone out with two pacifiers on “leashes” clipped to your clothing in various places and not noticed until someone points it out.

• Your laser-like memory has been reduced to swiss cheese. You can’t remember people’s names as often as you should because your brain is too occupied with things like:
- “Where did Ella go?”
- “Where did Aidan go?”
- “Where are their pacifiers?”
- “Where are their sippy cups”

• You can change a diaper in the dark, while grabbing another twin with one arm, with your back turned, with poop getting on your hand, while the other one fights you, while getting their bath ready – all without missing a beat or gagging.