Aside from that, the letters are a form of reflection as I pause and give thanks for the previous 365 days of joyful chaos. My hope is that they will also serve as a blessing to Ella and Aidan in the years ahead…words that will etch deep truths into their hearts over time.
The day will come… that dreaded day they will measure themselves against one another, against their peers, struggling to see themselves both through their own eyes and those of others.
If you know our children you know that they are different…gloriously different.
From the moment they drew first breaths… one cried… a piercing, shrill scream resembling less of a human and more of a wild feline. The other uttered a mottled cry and was whisked away for closer examination. One was near impossible to soothe, the other easily preoccupied by whatever was in their limited field of vision.
Aidan
Small in stature, mighty in spirit, your tiny legs propel you, effortlessly bounding off any surface in your path. If it is out of reach, then it is yours to be conquered - nothing is too out of reach for you. How you crave adventure – you love to grab my hand and lead me to your world of discoveries. “Look mommy, let me show you something! Do you want to see?”
You see life with eyes wide open. I love that you do not miss any of it. A butterfly flapping his wings on the windowpane. Streaks of jet fuel drawing white lines on blue canvas. You take pleasure in things old eyes have grown dull to.
I’m convinced your heart is twice the size of the average person. Your generosity astounds us daily. You commonly set yourself aside to meet the needs or wants of others. If someone is without, you joyfully open your hand - you delight in giving, in loving.
You feel deeply, tender to the bone. I can hardly stand to watch you cry without wanting to join in with you. Sorrow melts every inch of your face before melting mommy’s heart. I never knew eyes and ears could frown until meeting you. I love your tenderness and pray you always feel deeply.
And for as much as you feel, you giggle… the kind of joy that creeps up your throat & slips between a sheepish boy-grin. Unexpected and hearty…and always infectious.
Aidan, you are the apple of my eye, the boy after my heart. I love that I was chosen to be your mommy.
Ella
Fresh out of my womb, you forwent sleep…preferring to discover something, anything… to hold it in your gaze and take it in. You are a force to be reckoned with and your stubbornness is half your charm. You know what you want and how you want it. “Not that way, Mommy, this way”. Each day I actually see more and more of myself in you.
You have never met a stranger. Just this week you waved at a middle-aged woman drinking coffee as we walked into Target. “She’s my friend, Mommy! I love her. Bye-bye, friend!” you exclaimed with an energetic wave.
Your smile can light up a room and lights up our hearts each day - just another way you give… a physical expression of what is deep in your being, the love that you hold there.
You are generous and full of joy… as much as you are bright. You are a student of life… recording information, conversations, experiences.
A student of life, all right - you love life, my little party girl! Every day is a new adventure that you cannot wait to experience – “Mommy/Daddy! I LOVE you! “Where are we going next??!!” (with an irresistible smile) You are always ready for the next gathering, the next encounter, the next opportunity.
You have always been cautious, watching and learning before jumping in - it's a trait that comes with some limitations, but it also has its advantages.
Ella, my sweet one, you are a treasure… extending blessings at every turn. I am rich from mothering you.
Ella and Aidan
As the days pass like shadows, your toddlerhood slips further away and I see the young people you are becoming… the unique qualities that distinguish you from one another, from every other little person that surrounds you both.
As you grow, may you never define yourself by another’s estimation. You will always be too much and never enough all at the same time. My prayer is that you would instead receive value from within.
You are amazing little people and will always have each other to lean upon, laugh with, cry with, and celebrate with.
You are our dreams come true!
2 comments:
What a beautiful tribute to your children. I promise you (as a mother to two grown children and a grandma to one), they will cherish those words one day. They will come to you and say thanks for being such a good mom and dad. It may be after they have children of their own or when they go off to college and realize that have to start doing things like an adult. But they will come and say those words to you. Keep on doing what you're doing, even on those days when you just want to throw in the towel. You have beautiful children and so photogenic.
Jen, this is unbelievably beautiful!!
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