Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thankful for the Thorns

Where do I start with this post? To try and document all of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving seems a daunting task to say the least.

I am humbled by my children. How does one put into words the feeling of your little son / daughter smiling at you when you enter a room? How does one express the overflowing emotions when they simply giggle at something silly you said or did? In the beginning, I couldn’t imagine my life with one child, much less two. Now, I cannot imagine it without them. I didn’t realize the depth of the empty void that they have filled.

Where do I begin with the gratitude for Mike – my rock, my foundation - my love. What an amazing father he is. I always knew he would be an excellent Dad – Mike is so patient, kind and laid back…a perfect match to my uptight “make coffee nervous” self. I just never knew that the role would fit him like a glove.

I am endlessly thankful for my family, and the amazing amount of guidance, support and assistance they have provided these past six months while Ella and Aidan were so very little. We could not have survived as well as we have without them.

In the end, I am thankful for the thorns of my life. I’m thankful for those who have failed me in the past, for teaching me the true meaning of friendship. I’m thankful for those I’ve left behind, for teaching me how to keep company that is right for me and my family. I’m thankful for infertility for pushing the emotional envelope. I’m stronger for having been broken, and have learned to rebuild. I remember being so sad each time I saw a pregnant woman…how my heart literally ached to be in her shoes. Today, my heart aches for those who are still undergoing the journey for a child.

I’m not sure where my path is leading, but I am certain that wherever it goes, I will remember the lessons of the past three years. The lesson is simple - slow down. I’ve had been searching for so long for that brass ring, the smiling little one(s) to call me Mommy. Dreams really do come true, just not always in the manner or timeframe in which we initially plan.

Now, I must slow down and savor each and every moment.

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