An "Off" Day

We all have "off" days, don't we?

I seem to find myself wondering these days why I am writing.

Am I writing for me, Jennifer -- the one I've known forever?

Am I writing for me, the mother?

Am I writing for you?

Am I writing for the new me, the stay at home mother who's really trying to get it (and keep it) together?

I haven't a clue, which is why I haven't been writing deep or profound thoughts lately. It’s not that I don't have anything to say; I'm just not sure how it fits. Or, perhaps, when I'm downstairs in the kitchen and think, "Wow, that's a great blog post" I'm often instantly sent in another direction to solve a disagreement (because that's what it's like now) or to reason with one of my almost 2-year-olds.

And then my mind forgets the good idea. Or, I walk to the computer to write and then I get stuck on Facebook, which reminds me of the past and soon I'm walking down memory lane and getting stuck. And then tired. And, where was I?

Lately, many of my good ideas have been centered around the "me" I am now.

I've looked long and hard at myself lately in reflections in the microwave or the dirty car window and even in the mirror. I'm surprised to see myself because I hardly recognize the person in front of me.

She has lines of aging and sagging skin around her hazel eyes that used to be the highlight of her face.

She looks tired…all of the time.

She's heavier. Her clothes hardly fit - even the new, bigger ones.

The sight is not pretty, and it leaves me wondering where did I go wrong?

All of this has happened in the last three years. Some, in the last year or two - is it too late to reverse the signs of aging, I wonder?

I need to get my act together and stop focusing on the negative and fix the things that I am capable of fixing.

Stop.
Smell the roses.
Breathe.
Breathe deeper.
Hug my husband.
Giggle with the silly toddlers.
Write with no strings or purpose.
Just do it.
Make time to exercise.
Be patient with myself.
Be even more patient with others.
Lower my expectations of others.
Forgive myself - the things I've said. The things I’ve done.
Live.
Stay awake.
Create.
Enjoy.
Find peace.
Know peace.
Hold peace.

And then, when I really sit and think about it, I find the reason(s) that I write.

I write because it is therapeutic.

I write because it is a quiet and personal experience.

I write because I need to do something, even just as simple as this blog, just for myself. This entire blog is just a subset of the journal that I maintain for Ella and Aidan.

I write because I picture Ella and Aidan one day, perhaps when I am long gone, reading their journals and learning things about themselves that they never knew - and maybe even getting a bit teary eyed as they learn just how much they are treasured and loved.

Bowling!

We had a wonderful Sunday morning with our dear friends Juliane and Gill, and their twin boys Patrick & Finnegan.  

We met at a local place called Sports Connection and took the kids mini-bowling.  They have lanes specifically designed for toddlers with smaller balls, pins that pop back up, and little lanes that the kids can run up and down to chase the balls.

All of the kids had a total blast!  Patrick and Finnegan had bowled before, so they knew just what to do!  Ella and Aidan took a few minutes to warm up to the idea, but quickly caught on and had so much fun!

After bowling we all went out to lunch - all of the kids were so well-behaved and a nice meal and good time was had by all!

The Whole Gang!

Ella kisses the ball for good luck (gross!!)....

....makes her approach....

....sends the ball on its' way....

....watches and waits patiently....

....STRIKE!

Aidan grabs his first bowling ball....

....stops to check out the score board....

....watches the ball travel down the lane....

....heads down to check things out in better detail....

....and runs back to his cheering fans!

Later, he decided that he would just take a quick break!

After really getting the swing of things, Ella and Aidan started to bowl together!

They took a moment to devise their strategy....

....Ella went first....then Aidan took his turn....

.

...then they watched the results.... What? You mean neither one of us got a strike?

We had better go check this out together!

Flashback Friday

I have been growing increasingly sentimental over the past few weeks as Ella and Aidan get closer to turning two with each passing day.

They bring such joy to my life....I cannot even remember life before them.  I held a friend's newborn twins this past weekend and as I watched their little uncontrolled movements and listened to the sweet little grunts I suddenly found myself in "that place" - the one where women find themselves wanting more little ones. 

Everyone loves a newborn baby, but there is absolutely nothing as magical as two at the same time.

Did I savor every newborn moment? Am I a good Mother? Are we raising them to be well-mannered and polite little ones? Have I loved on them enough over the past two years? Did I record enough in pictures and video? I can barely even remember those early months - it was all such a crazy blur.

As May 8 approaches I have begun spending nap time scouring through all of their pictures from the past year to make the books and video of their second year. 

I cannot help but tear up, heck, sometimes truly cry, as I look at all of the pictures. I realize just how much they have grown and changed - and so darn quickly!

So, I have decided to each Friday a post similar to Wordless Wednesday.  I will post a pictures of Ella and Aidan from the same month - in either 2007 or 2008.  With each picture I will describe why it is a favorite of mine, what memory I have of that moment or place in time.

____________________________________________________________________________

March 2008 - 10 Months Old

Easter was in March last year.  

Opa and Grandma Suzy were here for the Easter weekend and we all went out to Freedom Park one afternoon.  It was Ella and Aidan's very first trip the the park (aside from the one in our neighborhood). 

Aidan was so cute playing Peek-a-boo with a blanket and Ella was just as happy as could be hanging out in the sunshine!

Little Readers

Ella and Aidan have a wonderful love affair with books these days.  It does my heart good to see them bring me book after book (usually the same books over and over again!), plop down in my lap and say "Book, Read".

Current Favorite Books:

Aidan

The Wheels on the Bus 

The Fire Engine Book

That's Not My Tractor

Goodnight Moon

The Very Busy Spider

Ella

That's Not My Monkey

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

Colors (Priddy Book Series)

Numbers (Priddy Book Series)

Animals (Priddy Book Series)

Wordless Wednesday

Yard? Yard? Puleeeeease!!

Yard?  Yard?  Puleeeeeese!  

Those are the most frequently heard words around our house these days.  Ella and Aidan are constantly asking to go outside in the yard, which is wonderful!

We are so lucky to have a fenced in back yard with plenty of play equipment for our tiny duo. Their latest obsession is the sandbox. In particular, dumping all of the sand out of the sandbox!

They also enjoy carrying their buckets around the yard and collecting rocks!

Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

We had the most amazing Saturday morning adventure this past weekend!

I have been  researching fun places for families / children, and discovered a place not far from us called Tiger World.  It is a sanctuary of sorts for lions, tigers, bears, monkeys, etc. tucked away on roughly four acres about one hour's drive from our house. 

We headed up there after breakfast Saturday morning and had a wonderful time!

Mike and I were both excited to see how Ella and Aidan would react to the animals.  I have been chomping at the bit to take them to the zoo, but we have been tentative to do so, wondering if they would get anything out of it just yet.

Let's just say that they are ready! Both Ella and Aidan were immediately captivated by the first tigers we saw as we entered the park.  This was not a fancy place by any means - it is clearly more about the animals than about human comfort. It was nice to see a place in which the employees were walking around and telling you each animal's personal story.

At any rate, we were greeted by two "toddler" tigers right away.  Ella and Aidan were amazed and kept shouting "Tiger, Raa"!

Mike bought a bag of feed and we were instantly surrounded by ducks and peacocks, who joined us as our private escorts for most of the remainder of our time there. 

They had a blast feeding them, and neither Aidan nor Ella showed one ounce of fear or hesitation - they ran right up to the animals, with Ella typically shouting "Hello!" to each one. Both Ella and Aidan can now also distinguish between a duck and goose. 

We were witness to some sort of goose argument out on the lake as two geese got into a fight, grabbing each other's necks and holding their heads under water.  All the while, all of the other geese gathered around them in a circle, honking loudly, as if rooting on in support of their favorite to win.  In the end, one sad goose flew away and was banished to the lake shore. It sure was a sight to see!

We moved on from our flocked friends to see a few small monkeys, and then we saw the lions!

At one point, one of the male lions stood up and let out a huge roar, which was returned by the three male lions in the neighboring pens. It was simply amazing!

From the lions, we headed to the bears.  The bears were Ella and Aidan's favorite animals in the whole place. Aidan even got up in a bench and sat watching them in awe for several minutes.

After the bears we came along more monkeys, and Mike made a new friend! One of the monkeys clearly knew the typical routine, because he jumped right up onto the fence and as Mike tossed him a peanut he would catch it in mid air!

All in all it was a fantastic experience and Ella has talked about it ever since, telling us all about what she saw - bear, fruit (the bear was eating fruit - this made a big impression on her!), goose, lion, and fence (yep, she loves to talk about the fence!).

We are definitely ready for the zoo!

Wordless Wednesday

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Ice Cream

Ella enjoyed some wonderful vanilla ice cream with her Grandma Suzy this past weekend!