The First Pearly Whites!

We were certain that Aidan would be the one with the first tooth - but Ella beat him to the punch! Yep, on November 15, Ella's first tooth (the bottom left one) made it's official appearance, shortly followed by the bottom right the very next day. Take a peek at our princess's pearly whites! They are kind of hard to see in the picture, but are quite sharp to the touch!!

PS - Not wanting to leave Aidan out, I threw in a cute picture of him, just because!!

Thankful for the Thorns

Where do I start with this post? To try and document all of the things I am thankful for this Thanksgiving seems a daunting task to say the least.

I am humbled by my children. How does one put into words the feeling of your little son / daughter smiling at you when you enter a room? How does one express the overflowing emotions when they simply giggle at something silly you said or did? In the beginning, I couldn’t imagine my life with one child, much less two. Now, I cannot imagine it without them. I didn’t realize the depth of the empty void that they have filled.

Where do I begin with the gratitude for Mike – my rock, my foundation - my love. What an amazing father he is. I always knew he would be an excellent Dad – Mike is so patient, kind and laid back…a perfect match to my uptight “make coffee nervous” self. I just never knew that the role would fit him like a glove.

I am endlessly thankful for my family, and the amazing amount of guidance, support and assistance they have provided these past six months while Ella and Aidan were so very little. We could not have survived as well as we have without them.

In the end, I am thankful for the thorns of my life. I’m thankful for those who have failed me in the past, for teaching me the true meaning of friendship. I’m thankful for those I’ve left behind, for teaching me how to keep company that is right for me and my family. I’m thankful for infertility for pushing the emotional envelope. I’m stronger for having been broken, and have learned to rebuild. I remember being so sad each time I saw a pregnant woman…how my heart literally ached to be in her shoes. Today, my heart aches for those who are still undergoing the journey for a child.

I’m not sure where my path is leading, but I am certain that wherever it goes, I will remember the lessons of the past three years. The lesson is simple - slow down. I’ve had been searching for so long for that brass ring, the smiling little one(s) to call me Mommy. Dreams really do come true, just not always in the manner or timeframe in which we initially plan.

Now, I must slow down and savor each and every moment.

Before I was a Mom

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him / her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I simply didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Opa!

What a weekend we had!!

Our Great Aunt Kiki came to visit with our Grandma Suzy. Opa came the next day. Grandma and Kiki entertained us so much and gave our Mom a few minutes now and then to take a break and make us our next day's worth of bottles, clean all of our play equipment, and do our laundry. (Daddy had to work). Ok, so Mom and Dad may not have really gotten a "baby break", but at least we had a few different people to play with!!

We LOVE our Great Aunt Kiki..she makes really cool noises that we try to imitate and loves to cuddle...and she takes lots of pictures! She and Grandma were so much fun to play with - they took us for a really long walk and we fell asleep!

Then, our Opa arrived...and the party really began!! He has this really cool beard type thing, and loves to get on the floor and roll around with us just acting silly. He brought us these really beautiful outfits from a boutique in Highlands, NC (according to him, we are the talk of the town up there). He spent so much time picking out these outfits just for us and we love them (well, to be honest, Mom and Dad REALLY love them...we were more interested in the really cool bag and tissue paper).

Apparently, they say they will be back for Thanksgiving...we can't wait!!

:)

Ella and Aidan

We're 6 Months Old Today!

Can you believe it? Ella and Aidan are 6 months old today. Time sure does fly by when you are buried in the trenches of diaper changes, feedings, work, and family. I cannot believe that our little miracles are so old already. Just a blink and they are no longer newborns. My Mom was just so right (dare I even admit??)...her mantra for the past 6 months has simply been "It will get better".

Let's see, in the past 6 months we have achieved the following:

• Solved Aidan's digestive issues
• Survived Ella's colic / reflux
• Conquered sleeping through the night (for the most part)
• Developed our smiles, babbles, and giggles
• Learned to sit up on our own (with a little assistance for toppling over now and then)
• Managed to be able to go for a walk around the neighborhood without someone pitching a total fit
• Ended (for the most part) the newborn diaper explosions
• Gone from 8 feedings a day to 4 (whew - that's 16 bottles down to 8)
• Acquired a good, hearty appetite for all of the Stage 1 baby foods
• Learned to suck our thumbs and take our socks off (as seen in the picture of Aidan above)
• Displayed our distinct difference in personalities - Ella is my little mini-me, Aidan is just like his Daddy

Here are our latest statistics from our 6 month check-up:

Aidan - 21 pounds 5 ounces, 28.5 inches long

Ella - 18 pounds 14 ounces, 27.5 inches long

Both are right on target for development, if not a tad bit ahead in some areas. Neither Ella nor Aidan really roll over just yet, but the Dr said that sometimes babies bypass that "skill" and simply go to crawling..much like some bypass crawling and go straight to walking.

We couldnt be happier. Yes, we are stressed, overworked, and in debt more than we ever could have anticipated. But when I look at these two little souls, it is worth every last penny and dime.

I'm Not Tired Yet!

Lately we have had a bit of a difficult time getting the "princess" to go to sleep. Her brother, on the other hand, is perfectly content to be placed in the crib wide awake. He loves to entertain himself with the wide variety of things in his crib - the aquarium which provides lights and music (which he LOVES to turn on and off repeatedly), his pacifier (on occasion), his feet, his thumb, or just talking to himself.

Ella is a different story. She has to be in just the right state of mind to "accept" sleep. Otherwise she fights it - and boy, can she put up a fight. You can rock her, sing to her, walk her around, dance on your head, or pull your own hair out..but until she is ready..she is not going down lightly.

The pictures above are from two recent nights of Ella putting her foot down. The top picture is from a night when Mommy was alone. Mommy just decided she was tired of the shenanigans and the risk of waking up the "good" baby, and brought her downstairs to hang out in the kitchen while she fixed some dinner.

The second picture is of a night that Daddy was home and got to witness the fun. This was one of the rare occasions that Ella was "his" baby that night. Apparently, he subscribes to the same approach.

Nothing but Pictures

Just for Today

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you both up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and not obsess about your nap and feeding schedules.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you both in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this evening, I will hold you both in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love and treasure you both.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get irritated thinking about how I have to clean up the mess later.

Just for this evening, I will let you both stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you both for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening while I rock you both to sleep, I will simply be grateful that I have been given the greatest gift ever given. I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you both good night I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank the heavens above for you, and ask for nothing, except one more day.............

Brother / Sister Bonding

Now that Ella and Aidan are sitting up (still need just a little assistance as they tend to topple over from time to time), the interaction between them has taken on a new level. They seem fascinated with each other and I often find them just sitting and watching each other.

Ok, well, I usually find Aidan staring at Ella as if to say "what the heck is all that fussing about"?

Needless to say, it is funny to watch as they develop their twin bond, and to see their personalities truly beginning to emerge. The above pictures simply say it all - Ella chooses to attempt to strangle her brother in three quick steps:

Step 1 - Pat brother on back

Step 2 - Check to see if Mommy is looking

Step 3 - Who cares if Mommy is looking, I'll do it anyway!

Aidan's response?

Simply give her a big kiss!

Mealtime!

Mealtime at our house has taken on a new meaning in the last month or so. Just when we think we have it down pat with the bottle feeding, the Dr. says it's ok to add baby food. Hmm...time to figure out a new plan for feeding two babies at the same time.

Now that we have added this new world of flavors and textures, we get to utilize the highchairs...and boy, did Ella and Aidan learn fast that sitting in these special seats means that food is soon to follow!

They are champs at eating these days. Their favorite fruits are pears and peaches. Favorite veggies are butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and peas.

We have it all figured out.....just in time for their 6 month Dr. visit next week when I am sure that he will tell us to add something else new to the mix!

Multiple Multiples

Having multiples automatically enters you into a special sorority / fraternity. You may not realize it at the time, but when you run into other parents of multiples, there is a sort of instant "connection" that only exists in this world of balancing more than one baby of the same age at the same time.

Ever wonder what a twin convention looks like? Well, we have our very own! Ella and Aidan love to go for play dates with their twin friends (pictured above) Gabriella, Jason, Patrick & Finnegan. Yep - that's 3 moms and 6 babies! You should see the reaction when we all venture into public!

What do we do when Daddy is at Work?

Enough said!

Mini Road Trip

Well, we took our first road trip with Ella and Aidan. We wanted get our feet wet with what we may be in for as we head 12 hours to Florida for Christmas. I can say that we only went 2 hours away, and the minivan was PACKED!! We didn't go far...just up to Blowing Rock for a few hours. We left at 9 AM and they both slept for the entire 2 hours there. We went straight to a restaurant and fed them their 11 AM applesauce and rice cereal and they did fabulously! Once they finished their bottles they even let Mike and I eat our lunch in peace and quiet while they played in their carriers. We just wandered around downtown Blowing Rock, got some ice cream and hung out in the little park...then headed home - and they both slept the whole way home! It was a wonderful day!!

Becoming a Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience, or loss - and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for these children. I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again. Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my children. I will take time to watch them sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at these miracles every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night (well, sort of) to the sound of my children, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed them and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream is alive in a crib, and crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that I have been given this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my children that no one else will see.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain. I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tried by a fire many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

• I have prevailed.


• I have succeeded.
  
• I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

Are They Twins??

A few words of advice from an oh-so sleep deprived parent:

• When you put twins to sleep together, don't put them too close together so that when one vomits it lands on the other one...that way you only have one baby and a bed to clean up instead of two!


• Feed whomever is screaming loudest first


• Don't change diapers in the dark - no explanation needed


• Learn the warning signals of projectile vomit - usually there is a cough first then you have about 5 seconds to make it to the kitchen sink or cover yourself with burp cloths


• Buy twice as much formula and diapers as you think you will need because you can never have enough


• There is no such thing as too organized or too prepared


• Make lists


• Smile politely when people make stupid comments such as "are they twins"? Learn quickly to give the standard twin Mom response even before they can ask (usually as they are approaching with their hands stretched out to try and touch your babies - ”Yes they are twins, no they are not identical, and they are twice the blessing”!


• Never ever turn down help or a prepared meal!


• Take lots of pictures and video every chance you get because you forget so quickly and they change so fast


• We will sleep again one day...not in the near future, but that is OK.

Finally, enjoy every single minute of them awake or asleep whether they are eating, crying, smiling or throwing up - it goes faster than I ever could have imagined and I don't want to miss any of those moments while I complain about things. We signed up for this and waiting so darn long. It truly has changed our lives in a very profound way. Everything we do is for them and suddenly life has more purpose...I know that sounds corny, but it is true.